Controlling the Nurturing Instinct

July 22, 2005 Posted by Amy HallcloseAuthor: Amy Hall Name: Amy Hall
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The discussion here on “True Compassion” took an interesting turn.  Are men better equipped to be leaders because they’re more objective?  There’s no question that women can submit their emotions to reason; but in general, this is harder for us and easier for men.  Therefore, in general, men are better at being objective when it comes to discipline and encouraging maturity.  (I say “in general” because, obviously, a particular man or woman can fall anywhere along the emotion/reason spectrum.)  If any of you have children, you will see as they get older how the father becomes more and more important in the disciplinary process.  More than one man has lamented to me that his mother didn’t allow his father to discipline him as he should have.

Growing up, I used to think the world would be a better place if women were in charge.  I’ve realized since that this is not remotely true.  Why did I change my mind?  All I had to do was look at institutions dominated by women and see what’s going on there.  Take the public schools, for example.  All sorts of crazy rules have taken hold in various places–including banning dodgeball and not using red pens to correct papers (because it’s too harsh and might hurt someone’s feelings).  Everyone must be protected from all pain.  I’ve even heard of a tee ball league in one school district that only allows teams to reach a certain score; if a team exceeds the set number of runs and people continue to cross home plate, they start taking points away.  They don’t want anyone to feel bad, so they pervert justice.  People aren’t allowed to win and be rewarded for hard work because the others might feel bad about themselves.  Hard work is discouraged (because rewards are removed…or passed around equally), and narcissism is rampant.

I truly believe that all of these policies of discouraging competition and enforcing equality to protect people’s feelings are hurting our society in the long run.  Further, it seems these types of policies abound when women are predominantly in charge.  Justice suffers when the nurturing instinct is not kept in check.  I think the increase in the influence of the unchecked nurturing instinct partly explains why we have a weak society where people are “offended” by everything and can’t stand anyone telling them they’re wrong.  They were always protected and never had to stand up for themselves, so they never matured.

This doesn’t mean I don’t think women play an important role in every institution.  Without the input of women, you end up with violent oppressive societies.  The answer is for women to be involved, encouraging empathy and sensitivity, but submitting to rational policies that encourage growth and maturity.  If we women understand and accept the fact that the nurturing instinct is not always correct but must be submitted to objective reason and justice, we can be very capable leaders; but if we ignore this and allow our instinct to reign, the result will be injustice and a spoiled nation with weak character.

Of course, in other areas of life, there are situations where the gifts of women are far more valuable and appropriate than those of men, but that is a different post altogether.

Related posts:

1. Where Would We Be Without Men?
2. What Fathers Do Best
3. Is "Control" Our Worst Enemy? (EC BIOLA #3)
4. Liberal Feelings vs. Judeo-Christian Values
5. Update on the Dateline NBC Special
6. Leader Denies Muslim Women the Right to Choose

Posted in Amy's Posts, Culture, Gender Issues, Main Page, Politics